Monday, September 19, 2011

Misunderstood Personality in Relationships and Divorce | Celebrity ...

Misunderstood Personality ?n Relationships ?nd Divorce

Character (personality) h?? n?t changed f?r thousands ?f years. It still ?? a d?ng?r??? ?nd fictionalized force ?n human nature. Character h?? evolutionary links w?th modern oppression, dependency, elitism, deception ?nd illegitimate ?ng?r?dynamics th?t shape social ties ?nd restrict adaptive potential. Misunderstood character ?n disordered relationships ??n complicate depression, anxiety ?nd stress.

Trying t? understand th? character ?f a partner ?r spouse m?? lead t? prolonged anxiety, depression, domestic violence ?r even death. CBS 48 Hours, 20/20 ?nd Dateline d? a gr??t job ?f tracking d?rk character ?n relationships, b?t th?? still leave ??? hanging ?n terms ?f understanding personality.

Th? late Dr. Martin Luther King challenged ?? t? accurately judge character; n?t ???t repeat history b? bearing f?l?? witness. H? m?? h??? underestimated th? arduous nature ?f examining character ?n marital problems, divorce, politics ?nd ?th?r relationships. Bearing f?l?? witness fuels anti-American sentiment, terrorism, marital problems, hostile divorces ?nd domestic violence.

Bearing f?l?? witness helps adults h?d? th??r core personality. Simply ??t, adults wh? engage ?n illegitimate character assassination ?r? bolstering ?n artificial sense ?f adult competency. Th?? complicates understanding th??r personality ?nd affiliated motives.

Objectively judging character ?? difficult wh?n partners, politicians ?r family members disguise ?r deny th??r tr?? motives. M??t people want relationships, b?t many never understand wh? th?? need th?m. Th?? ?? ?n example ?f wh?t Freud referred t? ?? unconscious motivation.

Dependency ?nd primitive aggression ?r? related. S?m? adults resist having th??r interpersonal dependencies challenged. Oppression helps tyrants stabilize th??r entitled dependencies. O?r politicians debate th? role ?f dependency ?n legislation. More th?n eighty Duke University professors relied upon th??r delusional reasoning long before th? supposed rape case w?? dismissed.

People ?l?? forget Dr. King wh?n th?? cling t? demographics wh?l? judging others. Many m?? never forgive Michael Vick b?????? h? ?? wealthy. Selective forgiveness intensifies marital problems, divorce ?nd domestic violence. Th??? trying events complicate th? treatment ?f depression, anxiety ?nd stress reactions.

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Consider th? meaningless nature ?f demographics ?n th? following case. An order w?? written f?r m? t? test a hospitalized patient. Th? patient w?? depressed ?nd uncooperative wh??h meant I became very familiar w?th th?? person. Aft?r completing th? report, th? patient fired th? admitting psychiatrist ?nd hired a n?w one.

Th? second doctor called ?nd informed m? th?t I h?d tested th? wr?ng patient. Th? n?w doctor ???d, ?I h??? informed everyone t? disregard ???r findings ?nd I h??? t?ld th? insurance company n?t t? pay ???.?

Th? ?t?r? becomes even more bizarre wh?n th?? ?distinguished? psychiatrist ???d, ?I know th?? patient ?nd th??r IQ ?? twenty points higher. Several years later, th? patient committed suicide. A cardinal rule ?n mental health involves never treating friends ?r family members.

D?d gender, r??? ?r socioeconomic status matter ?n th?? tragic case? Personality, n?t demographics, shapes alarming medical errors, marital problems, divorce, domestic violence, depression ?nd anxiety.

Understanding variations ?n personality ??n b? difficult ?f one ?? oppressed, busy, t?? ??rt??n, depressed ?r anxious. Even wh?n life ?? g??d, many adults spend years grappling w?th misunderstood themes ?n relationships th?t ?r? shaped b? both nature (genetic) ?nd nurture (th? environment). Th??? themes ?r agendas offer clues regarding h?w adults manage th??r relationships. Th? following personality agendas reside beneath ??r social facades ?nd demographics.

PRIMITIVE: Adults ?r? adept ?n terms ?f disguising ?r denying th??r motives. Th?? prey upon others w?th seductive styles ?r manipulative ?ng?r. Th??r judgments ?r? filtered b? th??r ?wn self interests. Cr??t?ng ?r avoiding problems ?? a common defensive style ?n relationships ?nd politics. Primitives self-servingly select wh??h laws ?h??ld b? honored. Interpersonal dependency ?? usually denied ?nd underestimated.

Adults commonly embrace P-F-D, a primitive defensive triad wh?n th??r interpersonal motives ?r? challenged b? others. Projection involves displacing fictional traits ?r motives upon institutions ?nd others. W?th elite psychological certainty, th??? adults feel entitled t? misjudge th? character ?f others. Fabrication, ?r lying, compounds projection. Denial ?l?? distorts reality ?nd reduces anxiety associated w?th accountability ?nd self-awareness. Th?? triad helps primitives remain mysteriously complicated.

CONFORMING: Fitting ?n ?nd accommodating others ?? ?m??rt?nt. S?m? feel awkward taking stands ?n difficult subjects wh?l? others see ?nl? one way ?f doing things. Adults m?? regress, mature ?r pretend ?ll ?? well ?n trying relationships. Princess Diana probably experienced conforming premarital tensions. Many poignantly identify w?th h?r tragic destiny ?n terms ?f wh?r? relationships take people ?n life.

HONORABLE: Th??? adults manage th??r losses ?nd betrayals without harming others. Th?? understand th? adaptive signals ?f ?ng?r, depression, anxiety ?nd stress. Th?? ?r? comfortably h?n??t w?th disclosing wh? th?? really ?r?. Wh?t th?? ??? ?b??t themselves lines up w?th th??r actions. Th??? adults ?r? easy t? l??? ?nd easy t? leave.

Tolerating disordered relationships ?? n? longer acceptable. Honorables understand th? limits ?f reasoning (personality) within themselves ?nd others. Th?? acceptance helps th?m embrace honor r?th?r th?n manufacture divorce brutality ?nd domestic violence wh?n relationships die. Interpersonal integrity ?? unconditional ?nd n?t rigidly linked t? marital status.

Sons, daughters ?nd parents come t? terms w?th th? personalities ?f family members ?nd others th?? never really knew? Throughout history, adaptive potential h?? b??n associated w?th evolving beyond d?ng?r??? ?r confounding relationships. Th?? journey ?? less complicated today b?????? understanding personality decreases th? prolonged confusion associated w?th painful social ties.

Dr. George Withers ?? a psychologist wh? reduces th? knowledge gap between wh?t clients ?nd practitioners know regarding personality ?nd h?w ?t shapes lives. Reducing th?? divide increases adaptive potential ?nd affilitated reasoning skills. It ?l?? enhances treatment efficacy.


Understanding th? predictable dynamics ?f maladaptive personality helps individuals understand declining relationships ?nd divorce. Abusing th? institution ?f marriage parallels questionable motives found ?n divorce, family values, politics, religion ?nd biased journalism. (B.A., Th? University ?f Texas ?t Austin ? Ph.D., Texas A & M University)


Dr. Withers h?? completed a text f?r lay ?nd professional readers entitled, ?Divorce Brutality ? Wh? Marriages ?nd Relationships Die ? A Window ?nt? Personality ?nd Social Decay.? Each chapter validates th? adaptive instincts ?f maturing adults ?? th?? process complex relationships. Readers b?g?n t? understand th?t relationships ?nd cultures d? n?t mysteriously die.


F?r more information ?b??t th? author ?nd h?? book, please visit http://www.georgewithersphd.com

GOOSEBUMPS cover version! A Highlight ?f th? night !! ? Symphonica opening ?h?w @ State Opera Prague ? www.georgemichael.com
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